Updated: Jul 26, 2020
I wrote a story post on Instagram the other day, about how we deceive others to better deceive ourselves and it got an overwhelming response and seemed to particularly resonate with content creators. I thought I’d make it into a blog because we all struggle daily not only with knowing what to post on OnlyFans, or how to get subscribers, but with social media distractions, comparing ourselves to others and feelings of unknown negativity.
This all started after I read an article on confirmation bias, which quoted heavily from a psychological study from the 1970’s. It looked at the way we seek information to support our own beliefs and ignore information that doesn't. How we tell ourselves we’re smarter than others, or better looking, how we project who we want to be to the world in a self serving way to create social advantage.
I found it fascinating and incredibly relevant to me right now. One of the first things I ever wrote about when I started admitting to having struggled with my mental health for years, was how horribly isolating and triggering I sometimes find social media, even though it’s my job! It’s hard when you work from home creating content as you are not having that human interaction like you would normally have in a traditional workplace. It is so so easy to fall through the cracks and not notice when your mental health is suffering because of social media.
Right now for me, isolation feels just like how I felt that Christmas when I started writing about my mental health. Feeds full with people doing SO much, living out perfect isolation lives (sounds MAD, but you know what I mean) everyone has become a chef, a homemaker, or an athlete overnight, tagging endless friends in challenges. It’s all so jarringly perfect that it makes it difficult to find the motivation to switch into sexy content creation mode, especially when you are feeling nervous or anxious in your everyday life.
The most problematic thing for me personally, is that people like me are part of the problem! I am one of those people pressure posting, pledging positivity, informing people on social media marketing, keeping up with my actual job of working in social & being paid to do so, to be (quasi) influential and honestly, SO much of it is bullshit!
I just want to remind anyone feeling the same, that people really only share their best bits. The life you see is their highlight reel! Influencers, celebs or anyone with a slightly larger following even MORE so because they usually, feel like they have to and it’s their job. You know it as a sexy content creator - we are the masters of honing a fake confident image to make money from selfies - while secretly crying about our image and getting obsessed with how to get in the 0.01% of OnlyFans. We all do it!
Over the years I have worked with tonnes of influencers alongside knowing a lot of people with pretty large followings, especially in my old place of work for a huge media publisher. Most people nowadays follow at least a handful of influential people, and a lot of the time, we try to emulate them or their style of content creation. They are people that we look up to, but their real lives are nothing like you would imagine. I can tell you now; I have watched some of the HAPPIEST couples you see on IG cheat on their partners and act like they live the PERFECT life on social media the next day. I’ve listened to travel influencers bitch and moan after coming back from 7 star getaways in the Maldives about how much work they had on, and how they saw NOTHING. I’ve watched influencers switch from one personality to another one entirely in front of the camera in a